Narcissists are experts at manipulation. They use subtle, often confusing tactics to make you doubt yourself and your reality, a psychological abuse method known as gaslighting. The goal? To control you and make you question your sanity so they can maintain power. Please keep reading to learn the ten of the most common red-flag phrases narcissists use to gaslight you. It’s important to be aware of these warning signs so you can protect your mental health and well-being.

“You’re Just Overreacting.”

Narcissists love to discredit your emotions. When you bring up an issue or express your hurt, they often respond with, “You’re just overreacting.” This phrase is meant to make you feel like your feelings are invalid or exaggerated. By making you doubt the legitimacy of your emotions, they minimize your perspective and brush your concerns under the rug.

“I Never Said That.”

A common gaslighting tactic involves denying reality altogether. When a narcissist tells you they never said something, even when you remember it clearly, they’re trying to distort your perception of the past. This tactic is highly effective in making you question your memory—after all, if they deny it with such conviction, you may wonder if you imagined it.

“You’re Too Sensitive.”

This phrase is designed to make you feel ashamed of your natural emotional response. By labeling you as “too sensitive,” narcissists imply that any reaction you have is inherently flawed or wrong. This puts you on the defensive, encouraging you to suppress your feelings and ultimately making you easier to control.

“It’s All in Your Head.”

Another classic gaslighting phrase is, “It’s all in your head.” This one is used to invalidate your perceptions and experiences. If they can make you believe your concerns aren’t real, they gain power over your thoughts. They essentially convince you that you are the problem, not them or their behavior.

“Everyone Else Agrees With Me.”

Narcissists often try to isolate you by invoking others as a means of ganging up on you. When they say, “Everyone else agrees with me,” they’re trying to make you feel like you’re in the minority, that your opinions are not just wrong but also unsupported by anyone else. This tactic can leave you feeling alone and helpless.

“You’re Imagining Things.”

This is yet another attempt to make you doubt your own reality. When a narcissist says, “You’re imagining things,” they’re attempting to dismiss your observations and experiences as mere fantasy. This tactic can make you feel confused and question your sanity.

“Why Can’t You Let Go of the Past?”

Narcissists hate being held accountable. If you bring up past behavior, they might respond with, “Why can’t you let go of the past?” This phrase is used to deflect blame and make you feel guilty for wanting accountability. They use it to suggest that the problem isn’t their actions but rather your inability to “move on.

“You’re Lucky I Put Up With You.”

This phrase aims to undermine your sense of self-worth. By making you believe you are difficult to deal with, the narcissist attempts to make you feel grateful for their presence in your life. They want you to think you’re not worthy of better treatment, so you stay in the toxic situation.

“Nobody Will Ever Love You Like I Do.”

This one might sound like a compliment on the surface, but it’s a manipulative way of making you feel trapped. By convincing you that nobody else could ever love you as they do, the narcissist instills fear and dependency, making it harder for you to leave the relationship. It’s a tactic to ensure you believe that they’re your only option.

“You’re Just Being Paranoid.”

Finally, when a narcissist tells you, “You’re just being paranoid,” they are trying to dismiss any valid concerns you may have. Whether you suspect they’re being dishonest or manipulative, they use this phrase to make you question your instincts. In turn, this keeps you off-balance and stops you from trusting your gut feelings.

The Takeaway: Don’t Let These Phrases Control You

Gaslighting phrases like these are tools that narcissists use to control and manipulate you. Recognizing these red-flag phrases is the first action to reclaiming your mental and emotional freedom. If someone in your life frequently uses these phrases, it may be a sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. Protecting yourself might mean setting boundaries or even seeking professional help.

You deserve to be heard, validated, and respected. Keep in mind that no one has the right to make you feel small or question your reality. Stay strong and trust yourself—you’re not imagining things, and your feelings are always valid.